I set my alarm early this morning, excited to start the day… But instead I was awoken by strange sounds in the kitchen… The poor dog was sick and threw up all over the place 😢 And since we don’t have any paper towel, I ran to the bathroom to grab a roll of toilet Read more about I am an idiot #20 🚽[…]
I haven’t told many people this, it’s something I’m not really proud of… About five years ago at my last job, I got peer pressured into doing something highly unethical. It was a group thing — my coworkers came up with the idea and set it in motion (and even some managers encouraged them). I Read more about I am an idiot #19 🫢[…]
I came up with a cool idea recently… Take some lemon seeds and lime seeds, plant them in my backyard… Wait until the plants become like 1-2 feet tall, then i’m gonna try grafting them together to make hybrid lemon/lime trees. Then after the small trees are strong enough, I’ll sell each lemon/lime hybrid tree Read more about No one stopping you –> but you.[…]
There once was a boy who wanted to go surfing. So he got up super early one day and checked the surf report… The surf report looked decent, but he was worried about being cold. So he logged into the weather forecast… The weather looked great, but then he was concerned about high winds. So Read more about Waiting for perfect conditions[…]
Big dinner last night… turkey, gravy, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, gravy… all topped with a generous portion of GRAVY. I ate so fast and sloppy I had to wipe my face several times with a napkin. And then came the speeches. Everyone went round the dinner table and said what they were thankful for… But Read more about I am an idiot #18 🤦♂️[…]
Yesterday I spent 20 mins walking around looking for my phone. —-> it was in my pocket. 🤦🏻♂️ Last week I washed and dried a massive basket of laundry —-> When my wife got home she said all those clothes was already clean, I washed them again for no reason. 😩 The other day I Read more about I am an idiot #15, #16 & #17 😔[…]
Yesterday was my wife and I’s 7 year wedding anniversary. And…. I forgot. 🤦♂️ Actually we both forgot. If it wasn’t for one of our friends texting us mid-morning saying happy anniversary, we probably would have missed the day completely. And now I’m a little embarrassed because we pride ourselves on celebrating every little milestone Read more about I am an idiot #14 🤔[…]
About 20 years ago, back in high school, I was sitting around with my friends in a circle one day. All of them were gossiping and making fun of this one particular girl. I didn’t really know this girl, but since my friends were talking bad about her, I thought I needed to do it Read more about I am an idiot #13 🙊[…]
Out walking yesterday, I saw a gardener watering some grass by the sidewalk. Since it was really hot outside, I thought it would be fun if he could spray his hose up in the air and sprinkle a bit of water over me. A little refreshing rain I thought… So I stood with arms and Read more about I am an idiot #12 🚿[…]
Yesterday I did something very un-Joel-like… I was coming out of the post office back to my car and saw a parking warden about to write me a ticket. (I had paid for 25 minutes at the parking meter, but actually took 26 minutes at the post office, so I was only 1 minute late.) Read more about I am an idiot #11 👮♂️[…]
Last week out surfing I noticed a photographer standing on the beach. He had a professional camera with a huge lens and was taking pictures of all the surfers! I thought to myself, “maybe now is my chance to become a famous surfer… If I surf really good and he takes some killer photos, maybe Read more about I am an idiot #10 🏄♂️[…]
One day, about 10 years ago, I went to the pool with my new girlfriend. I wanted to impress her with my sweet diving skills, so I told her to “watch me” as I dove head first into the deep end – with my hands by my side. Well, I misread the pool depth and Read more about I am an idiot #9 🤦🏻♂️[…]
It was a Tuesday, July 18th, 2017… exactly 4 years ago. It was my wife and my 2nd wedding anniversary. That week I was really busy at work, so I convinced my wife that we should just celebrate “later”… Instead of taking her out, I worked 12 hours that day. Instead of coming home with Read more about I am an idiot #8 🤷♂️[…]
A little while ago I stumbled across a job listing. While I’m very happy where I work currently, this new company sounded so cool! I got really exited and wanted to apply – just to see what happens. I wrote “apply for that job” in the bottom right corner of my to do list. Then Read more about I am an idiot #7 🧑🏻💻[…]
8 years ago, I loved home brewing. I loved it so much that I considered starting my own micro-brewery with a buddy of mine. We made pretty decent beer, too! In fact, one day a wealthy neighbor came to my house and offered us $10,000 towards starting our own brewery! But, I was young and Read more about I am an idiot #6 👨🔬[…]
Good morning and Happy Monday! I got funny email from our street sweeper friend last week… ***** Mr Joel, driving a sweeper is always interesting. 1 thing is after I have my fruit I can throw it in front of the sweeper and away we go. But yesterday I finished my banana and my attempt Read more about I guess i’m not the only idiot… 🍌[…]
Last week I was walking the dog. I was holding his leash with one hand, and had a piping hot coffee in the other. I also somehow was holding my phone, some letters, headphones and a face mask. Hands completely full. All was going well until Cooper stopped and did a big poop. Then I Read more about I am an idiot #5 🙅 Multitasking…[…]
Last year I met a really interesting guy. He was late 50’s, retired, uber successful in real estate investing, had travelled the world, and now spends his time volunteering. Super smart, super nice, it was like meeting a human superhero. We spoke for about 45 minutes and I loved every second. Just as I was Read more about I am an idiot #4 🙆♂️[…]
In 2013 I bought 25 x shares of Tesla. I got really excited, because the stock prices rose immediately. I picked a winner! So, a few weeks later I sold those 25 shares and made $900 profit! Woohoo! Then, I went to all my friends and bragged that I was an awesome investor… But today, Read more about I am an idiot #3 🙋♂️[…]
Once I was walking across an intersection… Since I was the only person walking, I was the center of attention for all the stopped cars… So I thought this was a good opportunity to show everybody some of my “sweet dance moves”. I was wearing baggy sweatpants (just returning home from break dance lessons), and Read more about I am an idiot #2 🤦🏻♂️[…]
Sometimes I do really dumb things. Like the other day, I got home from surfing and realized I had a big cut on my foot… Since the cut was too big for a bandaid, I decided to superglue the skin back together. Well, somehow I ended up supergluing my hand to the bottom of my Read more about I am an idiot 🤷♂️[…]
I’ve been having strange and vivid dreams the past few weeks. Have you? Some of my dreams are completely whacky, apocalyptic stuff. But others are pure genius! Like solving a problem, coming up with awesome blog topics or millionaire business ideas. A few nights ago I wanted to capture some of these genius ideas… So Read more about Genius? or Idiot?[…]